expectations..

I don’t really thing about the distant future.  Yesterday I was talking to miss J and we were saying how when we were kids we thought we would finish high school then go to college then get married and have kids.  That is it, that is how far it goes.  With my kids, I think … I have to get pregnant, get unpregnant(as fast as possible) and then they will coo and smile and roll over, then crawl and walk and then talk.  That is where my expectations end.  I don’t know how I feel about it, if I think it is good and leaves room for life to set in, or if it sucks and now I don’t have any goals!

What I know now is that I am not who I was when I “expected” those things of myself.  I am not sure who I am right now, really I don’t have time to figure it out.  These days all I have time for is making it to the next day.

These boys are who I am for now!  And that makes me pretty freakin happy:)

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